Gheebat / Backbiting
- by Muhammad Awais Tahir
(May ALLAAH Bless him and his loved ones with Jannah - Aameen)
(May ALLAAH Bless him and his loved ones with Jannah - Aameen)
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It is narrated on the authority of Jabir that he heard the (Holy Prophet (PBUH)) say:
'A Muslim is he from whose hand and tongue the Muslim's are safe.'
(Sahih Muslim :: Book 1 :: Hadith 65)
This is how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) defined a Muslim. According to which a Muslim who harms other by his hands or tongue is not a Muslim. We see in our daily life there are many fights which occur in this world just because of harsh use of tongue. A person affected by a physical injury is healed quite easily through medicine and care but a person who’s heart has been injured by a tongue (be it backbiting, abusing or any such thing), to heal that injury is not an easy task and probably to wipe its effect completely is impossible. The injury remains there to some extent. Tongue physically might be a very harmless entity (as it has no bones) but the harm it can do is tremendous and on the other hand the benefits it can do if we use it carefully are also immense.
‘The tongue is harder than the stick’
African (Ovambo) proverb
The reason why we don’t feel the bad deeds which we acquire due to useless bravery of tongue is the fact that moving the tongue hardly requires any energy.
Lets have a look at the what kind of talks we do with the tongue
1- Which has harms: Like backbiting, lying, calling names, abusing etc. All these are full of harms and have no benefit at all. So they should be avoided.
2- Which have no harms and no benefits: We can refer to them as useless talks. These should be avoided as well.
3- Which have benefits as well as harms: Might be harmful to one person and of some use to the other. These should also be avoided.
4- Which have only benefits: These are the things that we should speak out.
We reach the conclusion that a still tongue makes a wise head.
‘A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.’
Washington Irving (1783–1859), U.S. writer.
General Manners of speech in Islam
Words have a greater impact than one might think - one might say a single word or phrase that ruins his life and destroys his prospects for success in the Hereafter, on the other hand, he might say a single word or phrase, which is so meaningful in a positive sense that ALLAAH raises him by many degrees.
The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Verily, a slave says a word, without contemplating , and because of it, he skips into the hell fire further than the distance between the East and the West."
(Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)
In another Ahadith the Prophet (PBUH) said: “Whoever guarantees for me what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, then I guarantee Paradise for him”
(Trimidhee and Ibn-e-Majah)
Golden rule of Speech in Islam
The golden rule given to us by Islam is - SPEAK GOOD WORDS OR REMAIN SILENT
Whenever you intend to speak, it is wise to consider your words, to dwell upon the worthiness of you intended speech. Then, if you conclude that your intended speech is worthy and noble enough to be translated into actual speech, then by all means, speak.
A Hadith of Al-Bukhari stated that, “whosoever believes in ALLAAH and the Last Day, then let him not harm his neighbour. Whosoever believes in ALLAAH and the Last Day then let him honor his guest. And whosoever believes in ALLAAH and the Last Day, then let him speak good (words) or remain silent.”
Back Biting
Back biting is a problem which is getting more and more common these days. Almost everyone is caught in backbiting one way or the other. Back biting is probably the biggest gunah (sin) from Tongue after Shirk and Lie. A Hadith states.. “Backbiting is worse than Zina” (Mishkat)
ALLAAH says in the Glourious Qur'an, in Surah Hujrat, Chapter 49, Verse # 12:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَّحِيمٌ
O you who believe! avoid most of suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin, and do not spy nor let some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? But you abhor it; and be careful of (your duty to) Allaah, surely Allaah is Oft-returning (to mercy), Merciful.
According to the Holy Qur'an, backbiting is like eating the dead meat of a brother. Will any one like to eat the meat of his dead brother. What a shameful act.
The Leader of the faithful `Umar bin Al-Khattab said, "Dont think ill of the word that comes out of your believing brother's mouth, as long as you can find a good excuse for it.''
What is BackBiting ?
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "Allaah and His Messenger know best." He then said, "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked him, "But what if what I say is true?" The Messenger of Allaah (PBUH) said, "If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him."
(Sahih Muslim)
So backbiting is: “Saying anything behind anyone’s back that he will dislike if he knew that you said that“
Once it happened so that Hazrat Umer said in front of the Prophet, “My servant sleeps a lot” The Holy Prophet said, “This is also back biting”
See for yourself how much back biting you do daily.
Back Biting : A comprehensive sin
Back biting is a grievous sin and it is so comprehensive that everyone is involved in it one way or the other. When you imitate you teacher its back biting …When you take out faults and laugh at others this is back biting …You imitate how a person walks this is also back biting…
One important point…
'When you sit with a person who is doing back biting then even if you are sitting quietly, this is also back biting.'
Backbiting (Gheebat) can even be making fun of a person. The Prophet (PBUH) vigorously opposed all aspects of backbiting even when it occurred in his own family. For example, once a woman visited Hadrat Aishah (RA) and when the woman got up to leave, Hadrat Aishah Siddiqua (RA) made a sign with her hand indicating to the Prophet (SAS) that the woman was short of stature. The Prophet (PBUH) immediately said, "You have backbitten!" (Tirmidhi)
Imam Al- Nawawi, a great scholar, commented regarding the above Hadith saying, "This Hadith is paramount with regard to backbiting and I don't know anything more severe than this."
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: "I said to the Prophet (PBUH): It is enough for you in Safiyyah that she is such and such (the other version than Musaddad's has:) meaning that she was short-statured. He replied: 'You have said a word which would change the sea if it were mixed in it...'"
(Sunan Abu Dawud :: Book 41 :: Number 4857)
As for the body, backbiting is when you make fun of how someone looks, or mentioning any bad quality in him, as saying: "he is blind", "he limps", "he is bleary-eyed", "he is bald", "he is short", "he is tall", "he is black", "he is yellow", "he's too thin", "he's too fat". As for his religious qualities, it is when you say: "he is a sinner", "he is a thief", "he is a betrayer", "he is an oppressor", "he doesn't pray", "he prays so fast", "he does not behave well towards his parents", "he does not pay the Zakat duly". As for the worldly matters, then it is when you say: "he has poor manners", "he does not think that anyone has a right over him", "he talks too much"… etc
Exemptions from back biting : Cases when back bitting is allowed
Firstly, a person who was unjustly treated. He can go to who is in position to remove the unjustness, like a judge or leader, and talk about how the other person took away his rights. Because the people cannot preserve their rights except this way. This is not backbiting because Allaah (S.W.T.) said in surat An-Nisa’ (Verse 148), what can be translated as, "Allaah does not like that the evil should be uttered in public except by him to whom injustice has been done." Also reported by Imam Bukhari that the Prophet (PBUH) said, "Not paying a loan back, when able to do so, allows a person, the loaner to mention it publicly, and the lender be punished." The point here, then, is that complaining to whom is in position to remove the unjustness, is not considered backbiting.
Secondly, asking for fatwah, (an Islamic legal opinion) from a person with knowledge. In such a request, he might mention things that happened between him and somebody else. Some of the things might not be good. But, Islam allows you to mention them as long as your intention is to know the hukum (legal Islamic ruling) in those matters. The proof comes in the following of the Prophet's tradition, reported by Imam Bukhari and Muslim that Hind, the wife of Abu-Sufyan said to the Prophet (PBUH), "Abu-Sufyan is a stingy man, and he does not spend enough money on me and my child; except if I take from his money without his knowledge. The Prophet (PBUH) told her, "Take what is enough for you and your child, with fairness." In this narration, Hind mentioned Abu-Sufyan, her husband, in a bad manner as a stingy man, yet Prophet (PBUH) allowed it.
Thirdly, advising the Muslims about what is good for them in their daily life. For example, if somebody asks you about a woman whom he intends to marry, you are required to tell what you know about her in terms of his suitability for what you are asked about. The proof comes from the Prophet’s tradition reported by the group of Ahadith collectors except for Imam Bukhari, that Fatemah, daughter of Ques came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said, "Abu-Jahm and Moa’weyah both proposed to marry me who should I accept?" The Prophet (PBUH) replied that, "Moa’weah is a poor man, and Abu-Jahm beats his woman." In this tradition, the Prophet mentioned something that the two men hated to be mentioned; yet he said it because he was trusted for an advice.
Fourthly, warning Muslims and raising up their awareness of the enemies of Islam, especially if the enemies are from inside, such as they might be Muslims but they work, think, and plan against Islam. The proof comes from the Prophet’s tradition, reported by Imam Bukhari and Muslim, that a man asked for permission to enter to see the Prophet (PBUH). The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Let him come in. What evil, he is." (That person was a Muslim, but he’s not a good person). The Prophet (PBUH) said so, to warn the Muslims around him from that man. Imam Bukhari also reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said about two persons mentioning their names, "I do not think that those two persons know anything about our deen". He means that they are hypocrites, who show Islam, yet hide their unbelief. Imams Bukhari and Muslim also reported that Zaid Ibn-Arqam said that they were traveling with the Prophet (PBUH) and there was a hardship on everybody. Abdullah-Ibn-Obai’, a well known hypocrite, said, "Don’t spend money on the companions until they leave the Prophet (PBUH). When we reach Madinah we will kick the Prophet (PBUH) out of Madinah. Zaid told the Prophet (PBUH) about what was said. The Prophet (PBUH) asked him about his sayings, but he swears that he did not say any such thing. Zaid was sad until Allaah (S.W.T.) revealed, through, some, which proved that Zaid said the truth. In this tradition Zaid told the Prophet (PBUH), what that hypocrite said, and the Prophet (PBUH), agreed to what he said. The point then, is we are allowed to tell about the enemies of Islam.
Fifth, case in which Muslims are allowed to talk about others, without considering it as backbiting, is when you identify someone as the blind, deaf, mute, and handicapped person. The objective is not to put him down, but only to identify him as he is known. However, if we can avoid mentioning his handicap, and finding other ways to identify him, such as his name, then this would be better.
Harms of backbiting
Narrated Abu Hurayrah: Allaah's Apostle (PBUH) said: Do you know who is poor? They (the Companions of the Prophet (PBUH)) said: A poor man amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth. He (the Prophet (PBUH)) said: The poor of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire.
(Sahih Muslim :: Book 31 :: Hadith 6251)
The Prophet (PBUH) said: “A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hellfire further than the distance between the east and west.”
[Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]
Reasons why people fall into the sin of backbiting others
1. Weakness of faith and impiety make a person likely to speak thoughtlessly and carelessly and transgress against others when he speaks.
2. Another reason that people participate in backbiting is on account of the company they keep. They backbite people to please their peers and acquaintances. Allaah says, conveying to us the words of the denizens of Hell: “We used to speak in vain with those who speak in vain.” [Surah Al Mudaththir, Verse 45]
3. Another reason is hatred, enmity, and envy towards others. Ibn Taymiyah says: “Some people are inspired by envy to backbite, and in doing so, combine between two ignoble traits: backbiting and envy.”
4. Love of the world and the pursuit of status and power make people backbite others. Fudayl b. `Iyâd said: “No one has ever loved leadership without envying, transgressing, tracking down the faults of others, and loathing to hear anyone else mentioned in a good way."
How to Express Your Anger
Whenever you feeling like doing back biting someone think:
Will back biting do any harm to him?
Will it do any good to you?
In the long run you are doing bad to yourself not the person whom you are angry at
You are giving your good deeds to the person you are abusing
You are putting his bad deeds into your account
So in reality the person whom you wish to harm gets the benefit
Seek refuge with ALLAAH from Satan
How to repent
An important question arises that how to repent for the back biting that we had been doing:
Suppose you had been speaking bad of a person and now you feel sorry for it and want to repent. You should do the following:
- Ask that person to forgive you
- Ask ALLAAH to forgive you
- Have a firm determination not to repeat the same mistake in future
- Pray for the person whom you abused
Narrated Abu Huraira that he heard the Prophet (PBUH) saying,
"O Allah! If I should ever abuse a believer, please let that be a means of bringing him near to You on the Day of Resurrection."
(Sahih Bukhari :: Book 8 :: Volume 75 :: Hadith 372)
